Appa Redij & Sugava Parivar

Today, 25th January, is the second death anniversary of the doyen of intercaste marriage movement in Maharashtra, late Mr Raghunath aka Appa Redij.

Appa Redij was working tirelessly till the last days of his life for "intercaste marriage". The promotion and spreading this thought of intercaste marriage of his life-mission and the work he did for this unusual but worth social cause was just remarkable. We find a lot young couples marrying out of caste today, but those were the days, some 30 years back, when the married couples used to be lone, helpless and without any support because of the rejection by their parents and society because they married out of caste. (Still today, the caste plays fundamental role in marriage and the other important aspects are ignored, matchmaking today is still caste-matching). He started on this mission when he retired and instead of enjoying with grand children and family he worked day and night till his last breath. He never got much of the support or appreciation from the fellow progressive social movements of Maharashtra. But we carried on, spending from his pocket and arranging matches for all those like his own children.

His contribution to the society must be remembered. He used to move all around in spite his old age not worrying about his age. He used to arrange programmes, get-togethers, meet families of those married, take help of renowned social activists and ask them to write letters of support & we, very few of us who used to work with him, always envisaging this social movement reach the nooks and corners of our state and country.

He started an organization of all those who got married through Sugava Mishra Vivah Mandal, their families & named it as "Sugava Parivar". All those who believe in this social cause and wish that caste should not be main criteria in match-making, were also part of this Sugava Parivar. He was head of this big family of young families, well-wishers. Sugava Parivar was instrumental in many of nice initiatives in progressive social movements in Maharashtra. As a member of this Sugava Parivar, I thought it as my duty to record all those past programmes, past events and past initiatives on net, so that the new generation comes to know about the life of Appa Redij.

On the second death anniversary of Late Appa Redij, I proudly announce the publishing of blog of Sugava Parivar, a blog related to Sugava Parivar events, programmes.

Please visit www.pratibimb.info/sugava, please be member of the blog to be part of this growing Parivar.

Govt incentives for intercaste marriages

Government of Maharashtra : Times of India : 12-01-2010

Maharashtra government has decided to gift Rs 50,000 to a couple opting for inter-caste marriage. The state cabinet on Tuesday took the decision with the view to abolish caste system in the state by encouraging inter-caste marriages, an official from CMO said. Earlier, the amount was Rs 15,000, he added.

The government would give a cheque of Rs 20,000 and invest Rs 25,000 in postal savings scheme, Indira Vikas Patra, in the name of the couple. The remaining amount would be given in form of marriage expenditure or household things, the official said.

The government has been implementing the scheme from 1958 and 50 per cent of the fund is given by the Centre.

Government of Uttar Pradesh : Times of India : 05-10-2009

Uttar Pradesh government will give cash incentive and interest-free loan to couples opting for inter-caste or inter-religion marriages to set up cottage industries, a national integration departemnt spokesman said here on Monday.

"On application, such couples may get interest-free loan of upto Rs 15,000 subject to approval by the district industries centre," he said.

The loan sanctioned will be payable after a period of two years in 10 equal half-yearly installments.

"Such couples will also get a cash reward of Rs 10,000 and a medal," the spokesman said.

On Twitter

1st January ...

Today is Intercaste Marriage Day

www.pratibimb.info The only website promoting Intercaste Marriages in India brings to you more functions, facilities to make the cause more and more popular.

1. We added chat online facility on Pratibimb homepage. Now members (and even non-members) can chat with each other online using video chat link available in top menu-bar. This will help members to know each other very well and discuss out the things leading to proper decision.

2. We added Live Help on Pratibimb homepage. You can have your questions answered or doubts cleared directly from us before becoming member. You can chat with us (with Unmesh Bagwe or Shivaji Pawar, the administrators and owners of this site) one to one directly.

3. We created our twitter profile, where we can keep in touch with the world, its happening and twitting to spread the message around more forcefully. This will help us to get more and more admirers and supporters which in turn will make Pratibimb more popular and help in the cause of promoting and spreading awareness about intercaste marriages.

You can follow us on Twitter.

4. We have added bookmarking button AddThis on website. Please visit the site www.pratibimb.info and click to spread the word around by twitting or by connecting with Facebook or digging us....

We thank you for your support....

R N Homer : Revolutionary family

The inter-caste marriage bureau established by R. N. Homer is the first step in his mission to create a casteless society. The name board that hangs prominently in front of the humble house at Kedamangalam, near North Paravur, cannot be missed. It reads ‘Nila Prometheus Remani Homer, the Heroes of this House.’ Strange it may sound but it loudly proclaims the names of the four members of the family who live in that house.

Ask R. N. Homer, revolutionary-atheist, the head of the family and he has his reasons for this. “I named my daughter after the famous river Nila. Prometheus, the Greek God of Fire, was the name I gave my son. And after all I was named after the great writer Homer. Remani is my wife,” Homer says.

Homer is now scripting a new mission, to create a casteless society. And as a prelude to this he has been involved in a number of activities including running a unique inter-caste marriage bureau, Kedamangalam Misra Vivah Bureau, from his house.

Revolutionary

The revolutionary trait runs in Homer’s blood. His grandfather Kelu had participated in ‘misrabhojanam’ or feeding different castes organised by Sahodaran Ayyappan in 1926. Homer was perhaps inspired by his grandfather’s principles. Born into a Hindu Ezhava family, Homer married Remani who belonged to the Velan community. One of his aunts was named Karuna, after the famous poem by Kumaran Asan, by none other than Sahodaran Ayyappan. One of his uncles was named Tirumeni or Brahmin priest to ridicule the caste system prevalent during the times.

Homer’s marriage bureau does not restrict clients on the basis of ‘naal porutham’ or matching of horoscopes, colour of brides and grooms, financial background, religion, caste etc. “The only thing I insist on, the only condition I propose is that both, the bride and groom, should be from different castes. Only inter-caste marriage registrations are permitted in my bureau. Some friends compel me to find brides and grooms from the same caste, which I always reject politely. I tell them that there are umpteen number of marriage bureaus for them.”

There is a registration charge of Rs. 800 at this marriage bureau. Homer insists that the parents of both the bride and groom come to the office and register the name. This, he says, is to avoid any sort of malpractice. “Once the marriage proposal is settled, a fee ranging from Rs. 3,000-15,000 is charged from the parents. Of course, the fee varies depending on the financial background of the people concerned.” There have been numerous occasions when the parents proceed with the marriage proposal once the two parties come to know each other, ignoring the bureau.

Those registered with the bureau are given the bio-data of matching grooms and brides. Thereafter it is imperative for the parents to enquire about the veracity of the claims mentioned in the registration forms. Apart from the customary details, there are provisions for mentioning religion, caste, zodiac sign, blood group, height etc. of the incumbents in the registration form. “The mindset of the average Malayali has not been changed despite so many social reforms. They are still mad after beauty, dowry, fabulous wedding and spendthrift activities.” feels Homer.

Homer started this bureau after taking voluntary retirement from his job as a clerk in the Civil Supplies Corporation, Kochi. “I was forced to take this step because I never stood for corruption. I was an active trade union worker and tried to fight against the corruptive practices in the organisation. But as it usually happens I was always at the receiving end. A transfer to Munnar came as the last straw. I resigned in 2006,” says Homer who is bitter about trade unions, political parties who did not back him fully during his ordeal at his workplace.

Committed

Today the marriage bureau is Homer’s main source of livelihood. He has yet to get the legitimate compensation from the Civil Supplies Corporation. “I have filed a petition before the High Court for the immediate release of my pension and other benefits.” His wife Remani, a homemaker, helps him manage the marriage bureau.

The ideals propagated by Kelu has been kept alive by Homer. “My children have no religion or caste. Even their school certificates will show no caste or religion.

In fact, a Kerala Government Order of 1974, specifies that school authorities cannot insist on putting down one’s caste or religion.” His son Amar Prometheus has completed his B.Com degree and daughter Nila is a second year degree student.

Apart from all this Homer is a literary buff, a passion that began from his school days. He writes stories, poems and articles for journals and progressive magazines. His writings focus on social, political and judicial hypocrisy. He is also an active member of the inter-caste married forum, rationalist association and socio-cultural forum.

SURESH KUMAR

Parivartan Mishra Vivah Sanstha

Parivartan Mishra Vivah Sanstha
687, Shri Ram Apartment
Kumathekar Road, Sadashiv
Peth, Pune - 411 030

Phone : 022-24479228, 24478263

Kerala Misra Vivaha Vedi

‘Promote inter-caste marriage’

Fisheries Minister S Sarma inaugurating the district convention the Kerala Mishra Vivaha Vedi in Kochi on Sunday.

Express News Service

First Published : 10 Aug 2009 11:28:00 PM IST

Last Updated : 09 Aug 2009 11:30:17 PM IST

KOCHI: Fisheries Minister S Sarma on Sunday said that promoting inter-caste marriage was the only means to protect society from the dangers of casteism.

“It was only after the strong agitations launched by progressive movements that the State was able to oppose the caste system and bring equality in the society,” the minister said after inaugurating the district convention of the Kerala Misravivaha Vedi here.

The website “www.keralamisravivahavedi.com” was also launched at the function.

Special Marriage Act, 1954

Special Marriage Act allows any two individuals to marry (including intercaste marriages), irrespective of their religion, caste and nationality. It even applies to people living abroad, with Indian nationality. Therefore, any marriage under the Special Marriage Act is a Civil Marriage by registration. However, there are some conditions to be fulfilled under this act.

Neither party should have a living husband or wife.
Neither party should be a lunatic or insane.
The bridegroom should not be less than 21 years of age whereas the bride must be 18 years old.
The parties should not be involved in any prohibited relationship.
Both parties should be the citizens of and domiciled within the territories mentioned in the Act.

Marriage Ceremony

Notice must be given by the bride and bridegroom to the Marriage Officer of the district, with one of them residing immediately previous to the notice for atleast 30 days.
Marriage Officer records the notice and sends a copy to the Marriage Officer of the District.
30 days time is given for any person to raise any objections to the intended marriage.
From the date of receipt of any objections, the Marriage Officer should enquire into the same, within 30 days.
If the objections are found valid, either party to the intended marriage may appeal to the District Court, whose decision shall be binding.
In case there is no objection or the objection is rejected, the parties with 3 witnesses sign in presence of the Marriage Officer, declaring they are unmarried and are not related within prohibited degrees.
The marriage is then solemnized in any form which parties choose to adopt. The form must have the following declaration by each party to the effect; "I take thee to be my lawful wife (or husband)." The parties and 3 witnesses then sign the certificate of solemnization. This certificate is conclusive certificate of solemnization.
The solemnization should be completed within 3 months from the date of notice, failing which the notice lapses and a new notice needs to be issued.

INTER-CASTE MARRIAGES ARE IN NATIONAL INTEREST: court

Protect such couples against harassment, violence: Bench

• Court issues directive to administration, police throughout country

• Caste system is a curse on the nation; the sooner it is destroyed, the better

• Disapproving parents can at best snap social relations with their children

• Feudal-minded people deserve harsh punishment

New Delhi: The Supreme Court on Friday expressed concern over the growing opposition to, intimidation of, and violence against inter-caste couples. A Bench consisting of Justices Ashok Bhan and Markandey Katju directed the administration and the police throughout the country to extend protection to such couples against harassment and initiate action against those who resorted to or instigated violence.

DISTURBING NEWS : Writing the judgment, Justice Katju said: "The caste system is a curse on the nation and the sooner it is destroyed, the better. In fact, it is dividing the nation at a time when we have to be united to face the challenges before the nation. Hence, inter-caste marriages are in fact in the national interest, as they will result in destroying the caste system. However, disturbing news is coming from several parts that young men and women who unite in inter-caste marriages are threatened with violence, or violence is actually committed on them."

WHOLLY ILLEGAL : Expressing anguish, the Bench said: "Such acts of violence or threats or harassment are wholly illegal and those who commit them must be severely punished. This is a free and democratic country and once a person becomes a major he or she can marry whosoever he or she likes. If the parents of the boy or girl do not approve of an inter-caste or inter-religious marriage, the maximum they can do is to cut off social relations with the son or the daughter, but they cannot give threats or commit or instigate acts of violence and cannot harass the person who opts for inter-caste or inter-religious marriage."

SHAMEFUL ACTS : Referring to instances of killings of such couples, the Bench said: "There is nothing honourable about such killings, and in fact they are nothing but barbaric and shameful acts of murder committed by brutal, feudal-minded persons who deserve harsh punishment.

``Only in this way can we stamp out such acts of barbarism."

In the instant case, Lata Singh of Lucknow got married to Bramha Nand Gupta of Delhi, who belonged to a different community. At the instance of the girl's brother, the boy's sisters and their families were arrested and criminal proceedings initiated against them. Ms. Lata Singh moved the Supreme Court seeking to quash the proceedings.

NO BAR : Allowing her petition and quashing the proceedings, the Bench said: "This case reveals a shocking state of affairs. There is no dispute that the petitioner is a major and was at all relevant times a major.'' ``Hence she is free to marry anyone she likes or live with anyone she likes. There is no bar to an inter-caste marriage under the Hindu Marriage Act or any other law. `` Hence, we cannot see what offence was committed by the petitioner, her husband or her husband's relatives."

Courtesy: The Hindu (July 8,2006)

One Experience

With a heavy heart and personal experince of what i have seen in 2 years of my personal life.

I feel need to raise voice and remove the so callled " we Indian are one" and "mumbai rises to tragic incidents" or " Ganpati celebrated by muslims" etc useless headlines in news papers and in local trains.In local trains one can see many passengers irrespective of there caste and language laughing and sharing foods and thoughts, seems they are above the narrowmindeness of caste and other bullshit things but wen their daughter or sons fall in love with a person from some other caste they seems to behave in educated-illiterated fashion. They will sing,talk enjoy and even share foods and festivals with differnt caste people.even help in crisis but wen it comes to marriage there so called fake slogan that " we are one" comes in light.

"These parents think what of them.just cos they have given birth to a child that does not mean they have rights to follow there own set of thinking.if this is wat parents think ten there is no differnce between a "butcher who raises a ship and ones grown kills it for money"

Those parents who treat there children as if they are there property should knw this tat there children curse one day spoil there entire life.willl continue in next post.people with similar view kindly post and raise ur voice.and parents pls pls read this and do some thinking

Situation Faced by Dilip Neeronthiyil

It is true that social pressures govern one's life even today. In this world which is increasingly that of individual freedom and fortunes, it is sad to see the influential role religions play to pull back noble and innocent intentions.The article on Rediff regarding intercaste marriages was right to the point http://www.rediff.com/style/jul/19caste.htm). I am facing a similar situation, and the pressures I face are more or less the same. The pressures of the system are carried to us by parents, close relatives and friends. It is obvious that there is a generation gap and a difference in the style of thinking. There is no reasoning with them, so I keep quiet. My logic is; how one can change a mindset that has been molded over 50+ years. There is no point in either arguing or shouting to make your point, they will just not understand.Let me give you an e.g.: If an astronaut comes and tells us the experience of being in space, will we be able to omprehend what he speaks? It will be possible only if we have had a similar experience which we can relate to. elders have adapted to a world which has clear boundaries and these boundaries are strong when it comes to religion and communities which they belong to.Just like any change that brings in a level of discomfort, Intercaste marriages, or the proposal itself could bring in a level of uncertainty in the mind of our elders, who would take a long time to adjust, or would never adjust to it (if they are pertinently adamant in attitude). Their other concerns, some of which I have to ponder on, are:# Problems during my sister’s marriage. This is true in every family where there are siblings. v Alienation from a society, which they were a part of. The feeling of being looked down by fellow brotherians.
# The effort, to give an explanation to the society every other time regarding son/daughters decision on an intercaste/ religion marriage.
#The sympathies that would be showered by the crowd and the sick feeling of having to be a part of a gloomy sub caste ( one that deviated from principles)
# Problems faced during old age and ill health. The feeling of people giving a deaf ear, and staying away in times of need.
# Having to bear the brunt of not bringing up the son/ daughter in tune with community norms.In short the situation boils down to that of drawing that fine line between the love for ones children and deviating from the set norms of the system and facing the wrath.I believe, it is all about one’s attitude. If a parent loves the child and boldly stands by his/ her decision, then there will be no body, who will raise a voice or complain, because parents are the final authority when it comes to their child’s life. This is possible only if:# There is a minimum amount of trust in the child, that he/she is capable of taking his/her life’s decisions. i.e., if they realize that raising a child is not just about holding the reins and guiding the right way, but, also letting go of it when the time comes.#The parents have to realize that at a turning point in the child’s life the parents are looked upon to guide and show light. A time when the child needs that comforting pat from their parents, instead they are thrown into turmoil and deeper problems. Most parents never consider their child to be an adult even after they grow up and that they are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. Many a times it is an adult to adult talk that the young ones expect from their parents.# Respect is not a virtue of blood relations. To respect the child’s intentions and decisions is also, I believe is part of parenthood. In case of marriages if the young one is interested in an inter religion/ caste alliance, rather than considering it an immature thought, the parent/s can consider the circumstances that led to the decision and the life’s principles that the \young one has set, based on his observations and years of survival.# Forcing the young one to change his mind (from marrying the person he/she likes) and marry a person from the same caste/ religion/ community is injustice to both the people who are getting married and the life they are going to lead. I believe that life is more about emotional attachment than physical attachment or adhering to a community’s norms. If emotional attachment is missing in either of the partners, then marriages often lead to divorce, and further mental turmoil for the parents on a personal level (of having made the wrong match for their child) and societal level (of having to explain the problem and finding remedies).